My post in DSG fb

Alhamdulillah dengan izin Allah saya berjaya menamatkan pengajian PhD saya. A journey which started in September 2012, almost 3 years + 3 months of journey. I would like to share some of my experiences and lessons learned with my fellow DSG members.

I am a mother of 4. When I started this journey, the eldest- 7 years while the youngest-2 years old. I was lucky because I did my PhD in a full-time mode. I believe that either you are still single or married, there are many challenges or tests await you. It is an expedition that is meant for you to undergo the challenges sooner or later. One of the tests was my children. However, they are also the inspiration and motivation that keeps me to move forward to achieve my dream.

Usually school holiday is my semester break. I make sure that before the school holiday, I have already submitted drafts for certain chapters to my supervisor. The reasons are: (i) my supervisor can check the drafts during the school holiday and (ii) I can spend time with my family during the school holiday. In this case, planning is needed to guarantee that you have a win-win situation between yourself, family and your study.

Every time any of my kids fall sick, I had to cancel my study plan on that day or sometimes the whole week because apparently each one of them will ‘take turn’ to fall sick especially when the illness is contagious. There was a time when 3 of my children were admitted to hospital simultaneously due to acute gastroenteritis for more than a week. And being a mother, I would sacrifice everything and anything for my children, taking care of them. But that is not the biggest test. My biggest test is when I was bed ridden for almost one month due to sickness that I am not stating here. I felt down, unmotivated and helplessness when I can’t even stand for a week and count on my husband to do the house chores. I was frustrated and of course totally disappointed because at the moment I was just started writing the discussion chapter. I texted my supervisor, telling her my condition and she gave me encouragement and fortitude that I shall not give up. She also told me to keep my thesis aside until I am fully recovered. I would say, that I am really fortunate to have her as my supervisor. She always told me that the most priority is family, then only your study. Then, I started to focus on my health, alhamdulillah I was fully recovered after a couple of weeks and get back to my thesis writing.

There are many lessons I had experienced throughout this journey and this story is only part of it. Each one of us have our own story which is different from one to another. Ianya adalah ekspedisi yang mengajar kita supaya menajdi orang yang sabar dan kuat semangat.

To those who are still in the process of completing your PhD, keep on moving. Sama ada 3 tahun, 3 tahun , 4 tahun hatta 7 tahun sekali pun, teruskan perjuangan anda. Cepat atau lambat InsyaAllah anda akan berjaya. For Muslims, teruskan berdoa, mohon dari Allah kerana segalanya berlaku dengan izin Allah.

Different people, different tests, different journey.
All the best to everyone.

Dedication & Acknowledgements

Dedication

This dissertation is dedicated with the deepest love and thanks to my husband Irman Khalil, my mother Tumirah Ahmad and my beloved children- Mursyid, Mukmin, Musyrif and Auni Safiyyah who have steadfastly stood by me along this life challenging journey.

And to my late father Allahyarham Masrom bin Haji Abdul Hamid who always loved and believed that I am capable of achieving my dreams. May Allah grant him ‗Janatul Firdouse‘ and put him in the company of the Solehins. Ameen

Acknowledgements

My thanks to Allah, The Almighty and the Most Merciful for granting me the energy and strength to complete this research.

This research would not have been possible without the assistance and cooperation of a great number of individuals who have contributed to it in innumerable ways.

I would like to express my deepest gratitude to Dr. Nik Aloesnita Nik Mohd Alwi who has been an ideal supervisor for me. Thank you very much for all your assistance and for accepting me as your Ph.D student when I approached you three years ago. When I first started this study, I had no knowledge and experience in the task-based instruction. You have taught me more than I had ever expected and have supported me in every possible way, practically and psychologically, throughout the completion of this thesis. You had sacrificed your valuable time and provided me with numerous sage advice, insightful and constructive criticisms on the drafts of chapters in this dissertation. During the years working on this research, I have gone through good and bad times but you have always been there to guide and encourage me, whenever I need you. Without your help and support, this dissertation would have never been completed.

My special thanks also go to Dr. Nor Shidrah Mat Daud, my field supervisor for her kindness and support. Though we are far apart, she still keeps in touch with me and provides valuable advice on the quality of the dissertation. Without her understanding and patience this would never have been done.

Apart from that, I would not have had a more enlightening feedback than those provided to me by the dissertation committee: Associate Professor Dr. Ainol Haryati Ibrahim, Associate Professor Dr. Nor Fariza Mohd Nor and Professor Dr. Sarjit Kaur and the chairperson, Professor Dr. Abdullah Ibrahim, they were the thoughtful examiners for my thesis. Thank you so much for those feedbacks which to me were greatly needed and deeply appreciated.

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I would also like to thank Dr. Zailin Shah Yusoff and Dr. Hafizoah Kassim for their comments and views during my proposal defence two years ago and Dr. Asiah Kassim for her recommendations during the pre-viva a few months ago.

I am also indebted to Dr. Mohd Rashid bin Abdul Hamid, Dr. Noor Lide Abu Kassim, Ms. Norazila Che Musa and Ms. Norazila Ramli for providing me with the valuable assistance in statistics and research methodology.

My special thanks also to Universiti Tenaga Nasional (UNITEN) and Ministry of Education for giving me the opportunity to pursue my Ph.D studies. Besides, I would also like to extend my appreciation to University Malaysia Pahang (UMP) for the grants awarded to me for my study, to the Dean of Centre for Modern Languages and Human Sciences (CMLHS) Associate Professor Dr. Muhammad Nubli Abdul Wahab and to all the staff of CMLHS the for their help and cooperation. I also like to say thanks to all the students who participated in this study. I really appreciate the cooperation that you have given me during the data collection period.

I would like to express my sincere appreciation and honor to my wonderful husband, Irman Khalil. Thank you very much for believing in me, providing constant support, patience, understanding and encouragement in the ups and downs along this journey of completing this research.

I am greatly indebted to my amazing mother whose prayers, love and encouragement have helped me out of the various difficulties I had encountered. Your unconditional love means the whole world to me.

The most special gratitude goes to my children for always being there to cheer me up during my hard times. May this achievement inspires them to follow my footsteps and to do their utmost in their studies and gain satisfaction from it.

On a personal note, I am also thankful to my siblings Nurul Hayati, Rabeatul Adawiyah and Muhammad Farid, to my in-laws, Nurul Izzah, Hazleen Ahmad, Herny Farhana and their parents and family. Not forgetting my nephews, nieces and those who have contributed directly or indirectly to the completion of this dissertation. Thank you for your understanding and support.

And last but not least, I am also grateful to have great colleagues and friends at UMP, Kolej Profesional MARA (KPM) and UNITEN particularly Zeittey Karmila, Siti Rohayu and Jamilah for their friendship, support and encouragement that kept me motivated all these years. I have learned many things through out this journey and hopefully I will become a better person and contribute to others.

Thank you very much for being part of this journey.

So long my love

Dear my love,

                  You have been with me ever since I started my PhD journey.
                      You have always been by my side, during the bad or happy moments.
                 You have witnessed all the important occasions, my defense, my pre-viva and                  even my viva.
                     You are the resort for me to locate all important stuffs.
                 Though you neither speak, listen nor respond.
                     I know that you are a loyal friend of mine. 
                But now
                    You have left me.
                I could not bring you along anywhere I go, anytime, as I did in the past.
                    There won't be anyone who could possibly replace you in my heart.
               You are.. my favorite handbag. 
                    Although you are not as luxury as other handbags, but your contribution and                     patience that you have offered along the way will remain in my memory.
               Thank you so much.

Merajuk agaknya handbag nih. Hari yg sama dapat surat senat, putus tali nya..huhu